VI

Aerosmith - Dream On


November 2005


I didn't go to the Halloween dance. Nat's parents were out of town and she had decided to throw a party at her place on the edge of town. Her place is cool, they live on what used to be an old farm in a renovated farmhouse with a barn attached. And Nat had cleared out the barn so we could use it for the party.

The party had been wild - not the wild in people getting drunk and passing out, I call that standard; but wild in only the way Nat can do wild. The police had been called around 4am by Nat's neighbours who had come and shut it down, busting Nat's biker boy for possession and charging him for supplying alcohol. Since the policeman was friendly with Nat's parents, and knows my Dad, he didn't charge any of us for drinking underage.

Jordan had gone to the Halloween dance but had told me the next day, when I was stupidly hungover, that he wished he hadn't. It was, as he had said, full of desperate fourteen year olds looking for their first kiss, and he had made a swift exit. This is his second year here in Peterborough, I would have thought by now, that he knew that school dances were to be avoided at all costs.

Austin had stopped texting me the day of Thanksgiving when he had found me in my special spot in the park. I heard through Jessica that he was seeing a girl from Penn State and I was happy for him that he seemed to have moved on. Every now and then I would hear snippets from people about Austin and his success at college - it was as if people felt the need to update me on what he was doing now that we weren't together.

I'm happy for him that he's doing well at school, and I'm glad he's moved - one or both of us needed to. But it's such a small town that gossip gets round sooner than I would have liked it to - there are no secrets.

Mom didn’t apologise to me about Austin but I could tell she was disappointed that we weren’t back together. Mom thought Austin was "good for me" ie. she thought the sun shone out of his ass, as to my mother it seemed he could do no wrong. Looking back at it, I realised the front he put on in front of people's parents, always looking to impress and charm everyone in sight. Every now and then, Mom would drop his name into the conversation whenever college came up and I would roll my eyes at Jordan as she continued on her soap box.

It was early November and the snow was beginning to fall which really seemed too early for winter to be settling it. True it was cold, but the less time the snow spends on the ground, the better. This is Canada and I can't wait until I go somewhere hot for college next year.

I had been round at Lizzi’s house working on an English project with her as I trudged home in the swirling snow, wishing I was wearing more than my leather jacket and black ankle boots. A car pulled up beside me and the window rolled down. “Get in!” yelled the familiar voice.

I hopped in, thankful that Jordan was on his way back from the arena and had spotted me despite the swirling snow making it difficult to see more than a hundred metres. Jordan passed me a stinky hoodie from his bag and ordered me to put it on. I was shivering and strands of wet hair were plastered to my face as I warmed my hands up in front of the heater.

“You should have just called instead of walking in this weather,” he stated as we slowed at a stop sign. The streets were deserted and I had been completely alone walking through this white winter almost wonderland. It was so peaceful and calming, giving me time to reflect on the English project and life.

“It’s no problem,” I said wondering why he was making so much of an issue out of it. I rubbed my palms together looking at my frozen red fingertips and blowing gently on them. I didn't realise how cold I was until I got into the truck.

“It is when it’s snowing like this,” he argued back. I didn’t want this to go any further so I turned up the radio and tried to listen, watching the snow blow down the street. Hopefully it’ll snow all night and the storm will get bigger so there won’t be any snow tomorrow. Snow days are the best.

As soon as I got through the door I went for a hot shower, ditching my wet clothes. Walking in the snow is so refreshing – I don’t get why it’s a problem for him, I was in the middle of town, it’s not like I was in the middle of the countryside like farm boy’s used to. There are people around, houses, shops, and civilisation. It’s not like we live in the middle of nowhere.

When I looked at my cell I had a missed call from Lizzi. I decided to call her back; she had probably changed her mind about the project again. “Hey,” I said as soon as she picked up. I made myself comfortable on my bed wrapped up in a huge hoodie and my pyjamas.

“Hey Alice, did you get home OK?” she asked. “I just saw the snow, it’s so early.”

“Yeah, Jordan found me on the way home and gave me a ride making some mountain out of a mole hill over it. I like walking in the snow, it’s fun.”

“There’s snow Alice, and then there’s snow storm. Anyway how’s Jordan?”

“Good, I think. Actually he was kind of grumpy when he picked me up, the whole not talking very much. Probably a bad practice.”

“I think I need to come out and hang around the Pelino household a little more, grumpy Jordan sounds like a bit of a turn on,” Lizzi replied.

“Only you would say that. Trust me, it's not. You’re welcome anytime you know that. You and Jordan would make a nice couple.”

“Hmm he’s not into me,” Lizzi said thoughtfully. I don’t get it; Lizzi is one of those girls who seems to have it all but guys just don’t go for her. She’s interesting and fun but she doesn’t seem to be able to hold onto a guy for more than a few weeks. “I liked him last year too, guess I’m just going to have to admire from afar.”

I chucked at that having visions of Lizzi setting up camp down the road with her binoculars trained on Jordan’s window. “Have fun with that.”

“Anyone new for you?”

“Nope. I met a couple of guys at Nat’s party but nothing really now after Austin. I kind of like it that way. There’s no one I’m interested in at school, and no one in town. Can’t wait for college and choice.” Lizzi laughed loudly.

“Oh well I’d say you have a couple of admirers at school, judging by what I heard today,” she said. Who? As if.

“Really?” I said, incredibly intrigued by this new morsel of information.

“Yeah, a couple of guys on the debate team were talking about you, and Austin as well, but mostly you, and what they’d like to do to you. Heard this in the library.”

“Ew,” I said trying to think who was even on the debate team. I didn’t think I knew but it’s something I’d have to look up at school over the next week. Like I said, there’s no one hot at school. “Like I said, there’s zero action in my life right now.”

“Maybe that will change,” Lizzi said.

Maybe, but more than likely it won’t.


Jordan’s parents came to visit for a weekend as the Petes had three home games back to back which was a pretty rare occasion so they stayed in a hotel nearby. I can’t remember their names but they seemed really nice when they came over for dinner and they were happy that Jordan was happy staying with us. They talked about his other brothers – something Jordan doesn’t bring up much. From listening to their conversation, I realised how much pressure Jordan feels he is under to reach the NHL like his two brothers.

Mom left for the arena with the Staals who asked me to sit with them, but I declined. There was no way I was going to a hockey match and anyway, Jordan still needed pointers with his math. I wasn’t one to go back on my word so until that day arrived, the day when Jordan could do a week’s worth of correct math homework unaided, then I wasn’t going to go to a hockey match.

A week or so after his parents had left, I begun to hear rumours going around that I was dating Jordan, or I was sleeping with him, or Jordan liked me, or I liked Jordan. I assumed they came from some bored speculative person who had seen us riding to school together. Whatever. Rumours are pointless and stupid. And there's normally no truth behind them. Jordan is like my brother, get out.