II

Kings Of Leon - Use Somebody


"Sorry, not my idea," Jordan said as he followed me out of the kitchen and up the wooden stairs, making a lot of noise as he went. If he wasn't here then none of this would be happening. It's his fault.

"Give me your number then when you're going to leave I can pretend to pick you up and I can pick you up first thing in the morning so no one's any wiser," Jordan said. I raised my eyebrows in disbelief - he was prepared to play dirty and also technically abuse my Dad and his coach's trust. I liked it.

"Umm why would you do that?" I asked wondering if he had any motives behind this.

"Because I don't want to spend my Friday night looking after Coach's daughter when I can be out having fun," he replied as if it were the most obvious answer. I nodded in agreement. There was no way he was going to this party - Austin was not friends with any of the Petes and Jordan wasn't really in our circle either.

"OK," I said as he handed me his phone. I typed my number in and saved it under Alice P. "Thanks for this," I replied looking back up at him, noticing how blue his eyes were in the cruel landing light. If I liked blondes I might even go as far to consider he was cute. But I don't.


____________________________________________________________


Six hours later and six drinks later I was having a good time. Austin was drunk but as he told me, "saving himself for later". The thought kind of made my skin crawl though I wasn't sure if it was from anticipation or from disgust. There were more people by the lake than I thought there would be, some I didn't know but vaguely recognised, but they all seemed to know Austin.

"Having fun?" Nat asked as she sat next to me on the front of Austin's truck. I nodded feeling slightly numb from the alcohol but not cold. "You're quiet, and you're never quiet," she remarked as she looked at me. The light from the bonfire illuminated my face, casting weird shadows off the trees nearby. "Just thinking. This year is going to be so different for all of us. Senior year, year 12 and no Austin and we're all grown up," I continued.

"You're not fooling me," Nat said. She's my best friend, I knew I couldn't pull the wool over her eyes that easily. "I can smell your bullshit a mile off. You're cold, have my jacket." She handed me her black leather jacket which I pulled on, despite my alcohol jacket not kicking in. It was too cool for a summer's evening even with this huge fire the guys had created.

"It's Austin, he's leaving tomorrow and, we're... we're supposed to finally do it tonight!" I finally got out. I'm not one for being tongue-tied either. Nat raised her incredibly expressive eyebrows in comprehension.

"I thought you guys had done that a long time ago. That's not the impression Austin gives off," she said in a hushed voice, lowering her head so only I could hear her. I nodded at her about the impression thing - Austin doesn't give off the impression that we've never slept together, it's just if he did, he would get a lot of stick for it, and he doesn't want or need that.

"No, and tonight well..."

"If you're having second thoughts you can leave it. Just because he wants to, you don't have to," Nat said putting her arm around me. "You and Austin have been together forever but he needs to wait if you're not ready to. And it's not all it's cracked up to be either, it hurts and it's a little embarrassing at first. First time isn't great for everything, it's the practising that's fun," she added with a smile.

Nat is the girl I'm not - she's the quintessential bad girl, you know the one who got her belly button pierced way before anyone else did, her tongue as well and a tattoo - though her parents would freak if you told them about the tattoo. She only dates guys with motorbikes and leather jackets and she smokes like a chimney. Despite appearances, she's a softie underneath and her heart is in the right place. Like Austin, I've known her all my life, I think she was my bridesmaid at my recess wedding to Austin. She knows me better than anyone else does, including all of the secrets. Other friends have come and gone but she's always been there. Even my clean cut mother likes Nat. "Thanks," I said slipping off the hood onto the ground.

I wanted to find Austin. Making my way over to the circle of guys near the fire I could see Austin with his back to me. It was the same crowd as always. "Sorry, got to borrow you for a second," I whispered, leaning up to his ear.
"Hey babe," he said putting his arm round me as I led him away from the guys and further into the trees.

"Just came to see how you were getting on," I said, standing on tip toes so that I could string my arms around his neck. Now I'm not small, about 5'7, but Austin is huge and sometimes that is a problem. "Aww," he mocked as he leant down to kiss me, as he picked me up so I could string my legs around his waist.

He carried me until my back was up against a tree - not the most comfortable of positions and started opening the top of my jeans. I could feel him growing hard through his pants as he fumbled around. "Austin, wait," I said grabbing hold of his right hand. He shrugged my hand away.
"Stop," I said again trying to get him to wait. He pulled at my jeans, ripping them from the bottom of the zipper when he couldn't open them far enough. I didn't like what he was doing and I suddenly felt scared. I hadn't imagined doing it like this.

"Austin!" I almost shouted, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that we were here - we weren't even out of sight from the others. If somebody drunkenly stumbled into the trees to take a leak, we would easily be spotted.

"Put me down!" I yelled not caring if I was starting to have a hissy fit. Austin dropped me so that I landed awkwardly on roots and branches on the ground, covered in soil and leaves. "Bastard," I said as he walked away.

"What did you just say?" Austin said, grabbing my wrist and pulling me towards him. His eyes had a furious glint that I had only ever seen when he was playing football - the look that meant he was worked up and angry. He slapped me hard across the face, causing my hand to go up to my face, my cheeks stinging in agony as my eyes began to water. I might have been drinking beforehand but that hit sobered me up alright.

"We're over," I said, picking up my purse which was now ruined from the ground and stalking back towards the fire. I ran quickly up the dirt track not bothering if anyone was following me. I didn't want to see anyone or talk to anyone, I just wanted to go home. No one else needed their night ruining because of me, it's Austin's party.

I couldn't believe it had come to this, I thought as I pulled out my cell and flicked through my contacts. I honestly couldn't believe I was about to do this.

"Jordan, can you pick me up?... Yeah, you know where the Dairy Queen is? I'll meet you there." I put my phone down and stumbled on, down the dirt track away from the lake, knowing it was going to take me a good fifteen minutes walk from the lake to the Dairy Queen.

Away from the lake and the fire and the music, the woods were eerily dark and quiet. Using my cell as some kind of make shift torch, I hurried on, anxious to be out of here as soon as possible. The tears streamed down my cheeks, I knew my make up was smeared and I looked disgusting but I couldn't believe what Austin had just done.


____________________________________________________________________



When I finally reached the Dairy Queen on the edge of town, I was relieved to see a familiar pick up truck parked outside under the streetlight. Looking down at myself I knew I looked a mess and I didn't want to hear it. My jeans were ripped from Austin being a twat, my shoes were wrecked and covered in mud and I looked like I had seen a ghost. When I reached the open passenger door I shot Jordan a gracious smile - he knew better than to ask questions right now.

The drive home was slow and quiet, as I looked out of the window at the familiar neighbourhoods that we passed by. Jordan had put the radio on quietly, probably for him to listen to, and it was playing a slow, sad song that just made me think about Austin and what had just happened. I tried to keep back the tears as I stared at the quiet roads and the parked cars.

As soon as we got home he killed the engine and turned off the headlights. "Do you want to tell me what happened?" he said quietly as we both stared at the dark house in front of us. I didn't want to talk right now, and if I did it would be to Nat, not some stranger who I had met yesterday.

"Thanks Jordan," I said slipping out of the car and closing it quietly. I did really appreciate him coming to pick me up, but I didn't appreciate him poking his nose in.

I turned off my phone and got into bed - tomorrow was going to be one long headache as I would have to face Nat and everyone else about what happened tonight.