IX

Thank you for the support. I'm 100% better, even going for a run up Mont Royal yesterday.


Feeder - Pushing The Senses


Christmas Eve 2005


I had spent the day helping Mom in the kitchen, in between getting texts from Nat who was updating me on her family nightmare that seemed to be happening elsewhere in Southern Ontario.

"Darling if you could just stop texting Nat for a second and make sure the gravy isn't lumpy," Mom said as she checked on the caramelised vegetables. I put my phone down and looked at the brown sauce, swirling around in the pan. Mom handed me a whisk. Really? A whisk? I took it, knowing I would have a quieter life if I just used it, instead of the wooden spoon I was currently using.

Since Mom and Dad's parents are both dead, we tend to have Christmas just by ourselves. In a way I quite like it like that, I don't remember any of my grandparents, but from what Nat tells me about her crazy Grandpa Dennis and her forgetful Grandma Pat, I'm happy that Christmas is pretty stress free.

I used to stress out about the food - I'm not used to eating so much food, but Mom does her best to accommodate me, making up smaller plates and even making a salad sometimes for me. Dad usually hoovers up the food as if it's going out of fashion, adding to his middle-aged paunch. This year Mom is going all-out because we have a guest, a guest who eats just as much as Dad, if not more. Mom is as pleased as punch about that last bit, she loves cooking for Jordan.


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“Hey Alice?” I heard the whispering at my door as I wrapped the last of my Christmas presents to go under the tree. I was supposed to have done it a week or two ago, Mom likes the tree to have presents under it weeks in advance, but I had left the wrapping until the last minute – like always.

I tiptoed across the room to my door knowing it was nearly midnight. Doesn’t he know that Santa doesn’t come unless you go to sleep? “Yeah?” I said wishing I was wearing a little more spectacular than my oversized,old navy-blue, threadbare sweater and a pair of grey leggings.

“Can you help me?” he said beckoning me out onto the dark landing. What on earth did he need help with at this time of night? I stared at him in utter confusion as he just grabbed my hand as I closed my door to, he didn’t need to see the mess of presents and paper in there, and wordlessly followed him down the stairs.
“Watch out for the creaky one,” I whispered pointing to the step ahead of him as Jordan gingerly stepped over it as I stood on the side of it – I’ve had years of practise on these stairs. But the last thing I wanted or needed was to wake my parents and have them wonder exactly why we were creeping around in the dark of night together.

He led me into the lounge and towards the Christmas tree where I could see some badly wrapped presents that I assumed were done by Jordan. They looked like they had had a wrestling fight with the sellotape. “You need my help wrapping?” I said looking at the presents. I felt him shift slightly beside me.

“Not exactly,” he replied as he knelt down and began rummaging through the pile under the tree. He quickly pulled out a small box which was neatly wrapped up and tied with a red bow. Maybe he hadn’t wrapped this one.“It’s for you,” he added, handing it to me. “If you don’t like it, I can take it back…”

I took it and gave it a little shake, wondering why it couldn’t wait until tomorrow. I couldn’t hear anything and the size itself intrigued me. “Do I have to wait until morning?” He shook his head as he looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to open it. I slid the bow off, and peeled off the excess of tape, unravelling the paper to find a purple square box. Opening it, I gasped as I saw a pair of the most beautiful pearl drop earrings.
“Thank you,” I said as I continued to gaze at them. “They’re really beautiful.” I was still in awe at how stunning these earrings were – if he had picked them out by himself, he had good taste.

“Umm… yours is upstairs, if you don’t mind waiting?” I said awkwardly gesturing towards the door as I held the box in my hands. I hadn’t planned on this early exchange of gifts so he would have to wait until tomorrow. Jordan stood up in front of me, suddenly dwarfing me. “I have one other thing I wanted to give you,” he muttered. Yay, I love getting more presents! I looked up then back at the tree trying to figure out which one of the large boxes under the tree was also from Jordan.

I felt a warm finger under my chin as he gently raised my head, his face moving closer towards mine. "Ow!" I said rubbing my nose as Jordan backed away. That hurt.

"Shiiiitt. Sorry." He looked sheepish and started fiddling with his hands. "That wasn't meant to happen, it definitely didn't happen like that in my head."

No shit Sherlock. I'd quite like to have my nose in tact for tomorrow because trying to explain a broken nose to my parents over turkey would be interesting, to say the least. This whole situation suddenly felt very incredibly awkward and I became increasingly aware that I was still standing there whilst he watched me. I knew I had to react quickly or say something because right now, time was standing still and the only thing I could feel, apart from my throbbing nose, was the hammering in my chest.

“Merry Christmas,” I replied stepping closer and standing on tip toes so that I could reach his lips. His lips were soft and gentle as he kissed me back with as much passion as a hand slowly reached around my waist as I put my hands on his shoulders so I could balance. His tongue gently probed my lips for entrance as he inquisitively explored my mouth, first carefully and then again, this time with more passion and need.

I don’t know how long the kiss lasted for but I know I was disappointed when he broke it off. It was like having my first kiss all over again, only this time with somebody else, someone who wasn’t Austin. And it felt good. Kissing Jordan was a whole new experience, and he was a good kisser, even better than Austin if I may say so. I don’t know if this is a one off thing or if he’s been drinking in his room to bring this, but god only knows what this means.

“Umm…” I said feeling a little sheepish as I stopped standing on the balls of my feet and relaxed not knowing where to look. “It’s OK,” he said trying to fill in the blanks. My brain was screaming that it was definitely more than not OK even though my heart was telling me differently. I’m sure that whatever had just happened between us was overstepping a big line. Not to mention the fact that if my Dad found out, Jordan would probably be sent back home or traded to another team. But hey, rules were made to be broken.

“Alice, it’s OK. I like you,” he said as he exhaled as I slowly began to lift my gaze from the floor. Wait, he just said he liked me? Wasn’t this exactly what Nat had been telling me like since September? And the rumours, that meant that some of the rumours were true; that Jordan actually did like me.
“OK,” I said nodding, taking it all in. “OK,” I repeated to reassure mostly myself.

“I like you too,” I added hastily to make sure I hadn’t offended him. He smiled back at me as he stooped a little so he could kiss me again, this time more passionate as we explored each other’s mouths, one hand running through my hair as I opened my eyes, checking to see that this was real, and that I was really kissing him. I began to start smiling as his hands stopped moving as I broke off the kiss, his eyes fluttering open to focus on me, his pupils wide in the dark, lit by only the fairy lights on the tree.

“Thank you for the earrings,” I whispered again, moving away to sit on the arm of the sofa. He stood a short distance away from me as he looked again at the base of the tree. “Yeah, I didn’t want to give them to you tomorrow in front of your parents, and I wouldn’t have been able to do… that, too,” he said scratching the back of his head with his right hand as he stretched his left arm out.

“Well I’m glad you did,” I said as I picked at the edge of my old sweater looking at the box of earrings on the coffee table. “I… er should really go to bed, but thank you,” I said standing and taking the box with me as I headed out of the lounge and up the stairs.

“Good night,” he whispered as we stood outside of his room as he gave me a quick kiss good night. We were in dangerous territory kissing up here with my parents across the landing. If Jordan wanted to survive Christmas in the Pelino household, he should probably try not to do that in front of my Dad.

I tiptoed back to my room and closed the door before changing into my pyjamas and settling into bed trying to figure out what this all meant. My insides were doing some sort of crazy happy dance as my stomach flipped and my mind replayed the events and that kiss. There was no way I'd be getting to sleep anytime soon. I sent Nat a text; she was never going to believe this...